15. Another Bloody Water

So when Jonas was here, we went to this Kiwi burger place called Burger Fuel. Among their interesting flavours and doofers (patent pending apparently....I told Jonas to look into it) they had the most bizarre water bottle for sale. So considering I was in stitches while reading it, I figured I needed to type it out here for all to enjoy.

Here is the story of Another Bloody Water.....

Since we unceremoniously (some say rudely) barged our way into the overcrowded bottled water market with a good looking bottle, a smartarse name and a devil may care attitude it has come to our attention that our competitors don't like us*. They think we are taking the piss. That we mock the overly flowery, exaggerated language and the poorly drawn waterfalls and diagrams of volcanoes on their labels. They think that we are not taking the serious aquatic science of bottled water...well seriously.

So to quash any future smear campaign and rumour mongering they may come up with, we're going to set the record straight right here. Smart Alec name-yes. Just another water-no.

First up our water is bloody good. Better than most. It comes from a spring, high in the Victorian Alps, which is a bloody long drive from civilization (see:pollution). The only farms in the area are organic which means no nasty pesticides or any of those other evil poisons end up in the water. In fact we deal with the rampant blackberry problem by setting our deer on them. It's a tough gig for the deer, but they seem to like it. And while we're blowing our own trumpet, independent Government approved laboratories have done tests and they reckon it's lower in sodium than all other major brands on the Australian market. Did we say it tastes bloody good?

So there you go, Doubting Thomas competitors-cards on the table. Enjoy Another Bloody Water, everyone. And then when you're done with that enjoy another Another Bloody Water. And so on.

*We don't actually know if our competitors don't like us. But being competitors we're pretty sure they don't.


So there you have it...quite funny! Directly scribed from water bottle to my blog!